Have you ever finished a romantic dinner with your partners, leaned over the table, and whispered invitingly, “Sweeties, we should think about creating a cohabitation agreement?” Probably not. But for folks who live together and aren’t married, a cohabitation agreement is a great way to document both how you run your household now and also how you might want to handle future changes, such as having children, adding partners, retiring, or de-escalating a romantic relationship. Cohabitation agreements can be made between members of a polycule, friends living together, people who co-own a home, or any other group of people who live together.

What is a cohabitation agreement?

Put simply, it provides a financial blueprint for your family. It sets out agreements on how you’ll run your household, such as how income will be divided, how debts will be paid, how you’ll own and maintain property, and how you’ll take care of each other as you age. Each agreement is unique to the family or individuals who create it. Even if you use a template to create your agreement yourself, you’ll need to adjust it to fit your circumstances. Your agreement may also need to be updated from time to time. It’s best to think of cohabitation agreements as living documents that may need to be modified when circumstances change.

If executed properly, a cohabitation agreement is legally binding, meaning that a court will enforce the agreements you made. Cohabitation agreements among more than two people, however, are a legal frontier. This means that courts may give your agreement additional scrutiny before finding it enforceable. You can protect your agreement by ensuring that it is a valid contract. This means that 1) the agreement must be in writing; 2) each party must be aware of and acknowledge the terms of the agreement; and 3) each party must receive something in consideration for signing the agreement (other than sexual favors). In addition, the cohabitation agreement must be fair to all parties, and must not be unconscionable or against public policy.

How can cohabitation agreements benefit non-traditional families?

For non-traditional families, cohabitation agreements are essential to ensuring legal protection for your family, particularly if your family or your relationships change. When a marriage ends, the laws of the state you live in specify how your property will be divided, absent other agreements. This means that, generally speaking, a spouse who helped pay the mortgage or pay for renovations to a house owned solely by the other spouse will be able to receive some of that money back. In contrast, most states do not have an easy way for unmarried individuals to recover money in a similar situation. Similarly, where most states have laws regarding custody and visitation rights for unmarried parents, there are no laws in place to protect the rights of unmarried, non-biological co-parents.

Families who have a cohabitation agreement in place can avoid both the uncertainty and the cost of litigation following a relationship change. A cohabitation agreement can set out in advance the division of property and assets, custody and visitation, and support payments in the event that the relationship dissolves or de-escalates. Parties who adhere to the terms of their cohabitation agreement may be able to avoid court proceedings entirely.

Going through the process of creating a cohabitation agreement can help your family to uncover and address potential tensions before they erupt into conflict. We all come to relationships with preconceived ideas of how we want to handle finances, household responsibilities, childcare, retirement, and so on. Misalignment on any of these issues can lead to relationship ruptures, particularly when that misalignment surfaces many years into the relationship. Creating a cohabitation agreement gives you the space to talk through these issues, identify potential areas of disagreement, and create a plan that works for everyone involved.

What’s covered in a cohabitation agreement?

A cohabitation agreement for a non-traditional family may cover the following areas:

• Division of Income. The agreement can lay out what share of each individual’s income will be used for household or family expenses and what share of each individual’s income they will keep for their own, separate spending. The agreement can also cover how gifts or inheritances received by one person will be handled.
• Household Accounts & Expenses: The agreement can cover whether the household will have shared bank accounts, credit cards, or loans, and which expenses are considered household expenses. The agreement can also clarify who is responsible for any debts incurred, either before or during the period of cohabitation.
• Household and Childcare Responsibilities: The agreement can include how household obligations, such as paying bills, making meals, and cleaning the house are divided. The agreement can also discuss how your family will cover childcare duties.
• Property and Assets: The agreement can specify how future purchases of property will be handled (owned together or separately) and detail the rights that individuals have in any property where not everyone is on the title. The co- agreement may also specify how property and assets will be divided in the event that the parties stop cohabitating. For non-traditional families, a cohabitation agreement can include provisions detailing what happens if only one person moves out.
• Support: The parties can include a provision for future financial support, known as “palimony.” This can be particularly important in states that do not support a legal right to palimony without a written agreement.
• Parenting: The agreement can include provisions stating the parties’ intentions to grant custody and/or visitation to non-legal, non-biological co-parents. The agreement can also include provisions detailing the steps that the parties will take to become legal parents of any children born before or after the agreement is signed.
• Retirement and Disability Planning: The agreement can detail how the parties intend to provide for each other in retirement, including how any pensions or retirement assets will be divided. The agreement can also include how the parties will support each other in the event that one party becomes disabled or unable to work.
• Resolution of Future Disputes: The agreement can specify how the parties intend to resolve any future disputes, such as by requiring mediation.

Why create a co-habitation agreement?

Cohabitation agreements are an indispensable tool for non-traditional families, offering a clear financial and relational blueprint that the current legal system cannot provide. While the process of creating a cohabitation agreement may seem daunting or expensive, the benefits are manifold. These agreements can create stability and reduce costs for non-traditional families by providing legal protection, proactively addressing potential tension, and creating a roadmap for handling relationship changes.